Well this year went by in a hot minute (I just learnt that phrase from James Charles. I liked it, so I’m using it too). I turned the ripe old age of 34 in New Zealand and have now turned the even riper age of 35 this week so thought I would share a few things I’ve learn’t over the years because I see so many 25 and 30 year olds doing it and thought I could maybe offer a slightly different perspective on the whole thing (to be fair I may not actually be able to, but you can decide for yourself).
I’ve broken it down into a few different areas and some areas contain more insight than others, but ya know, that’s cool. So here we go…
1). Weights are your friend – I’ve always been a cardio gal, and it wasn’t until this last year that I properly started to look into weights more, and now I’m finally on a proper programme where I get T-rex arms and jelly legs from lifting regularly. As we get older, our collagen levels and muscle mass drop, so it’s wise to look into weights to keep you feeling strong, fit and healthy. I’ve never felt as good as what I’ve done over the last month or so from doing weights, so that’s my first lesson. Lift. If you’re nervous, get advice, but just go for it.
2). Sugar is not your friend – again with the collagen, sugar breaks down your collagen and it’s just not good for you. It ages you, sends your insulin levels all over the place and generally isn’t healthy. Avoid it, reduce your sugar intake and you’ll start to feel way more amazing.
3). Water is everything – we are 70% water and if we are even a small % dehydrated, then our brain function and body function reduces dramatically so get drinking the good stuff. It helps with EVERYTHING. It’s a boring lesson but it’s essential. Stop groaning about it and just do it.
4). Collagen is amazing – get some decent collagen powder after hitting 30 and have it as part of your smoothie or in your coffee. You’ll notice a difference in your skin, hair and nails really soon. It’s awesome, trust me and get some.
5). Supplements make a real difference – but make sure you get a really decent brand. Those ones that cost £7 aren’t going to be that great for you because they are filled with artificial fillers. Spend your pennies on brands like Wild Nutrition and you won’t go far wrong.
6). Your health is your wealth – it really is. Stop treating your body like a trash can. Stop punishing it when it’s the only thing you’ve got. Be kind to yourself and celebrate everything about you. You’re exquisite. Remember that.
7). Life never goes according to plan but love it anyway – Ah yes. Remember that plan you had when you were younger about how it was all meant to be?! Well it doesn’t work out like that. I actually can’t ever remember a life plan for myself when I was younger; there was no great career idea, no memories of dreaming about getting married or having kids so who knows what I was thinking about, but that’s lucky. Because for the most part, it never works out the way you think it will, but it’s better. The crazy things that have happened to you make you who you are. See the lessons from the rubbish things that happened which you can take forward. Treasure the good memories and trust that the best is yet to come. Which is SO exciting.
8). Manage your mindset – If it’s one thing I’ve learnt, it’s to manage my mindset. If you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right. You’re the gatekeeper of how you manage your perception on life, whether you see it as a universe that works for you, or against you, and if you have a positive outlook or negative one. Manage whose opinions you take to heart, manage your stress levels and manage what you allow yourself to believe. It’s the building blocks for everything.
9). Believe life is magical and it’s all stacked in your favour and you’re half way there – This definitely links into managing your mindset. Why not think this?! Isn’t it such a fun way to view life rather than thinking everything and everyone is against you?
10).. Take the risk, even if you’re super scared to do so. Even if it doesn’t work out, you’ll never end up regretting it – I think one of the scariest things I’ve ever done is move to the other side of the world for a relationship. I remember my knees knocking as I said goodbye to my family at the airport and being utterly scared. I lived over there for two wonderful years and whilst the relationship didn’t work out and I’m back in the UK, that’s totally great too. I will never regret making that decision and the memories I’ll have from being over there. It was amazing. But I’m also so happy to be home. It is where my heart truly is. If things don’t work out, then at least you’ll never have regrets and if it really does go t*ts up, then you’ve got a funny story to tell in a few years time once you’ve gotten over the mental trauma.
11). Stop comparing yourself to what everyone else is doing and the milestones you think you should be at for your age – ah this old chestnut. I still do this and have to reign it in from time to time (pity party for one, anyone?!). I’m 35, single, living with my parents and in the first year of starting my business, aka the Steve Jobs in his parents garage phase, but older. By societies standards I’m an utter failure but I actually see this as one of the most exciting opportunities I’ve ever had. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely moan to my friends when I see them successful, happy, married and with kids but I try and think of it as the best is yet to come. Plus I’m hoping when I do meet the man of my dreams, the chances of getting divorced will have reduced because everyone is starting to go through that now. I know it doesn’t exactly work like that, but humour me. I’m an old maid and single, remember!?
12). The level of thinking that got you here, won’t get you there so invest in yourself – I’ve heard this quote SO much in 2018 and I think it’s so important. If you’re not where you want to be, get the help you need. In health, in business, in finance, everything if you want to improve your situation. It just makes sense.
13). Travel. See the world. Experience everything that it has to offer. Don’t wait till you’re retired, because you don’t know how your health will be – You don’t know what will happen in the future. All you have is now. So if you’ve got a calling to go to another country and explore then do it. If you really feel pulled to do something totally different with your career, do it. There is so much more to life than the office you’re sat in, the home you live in and the life you’re leading now. Get out an explore. It could even be in your neighbourhood – remember that restaurant that you wanted to go to that you haven’t yet? Go try it out! You don’t know how much time you have, so enjoy it.
14). You are exactly where you need to be right now. So enjoy it. You won’t get it back again – When things get a little too much I tell myself this lots. Especially with business. You can’t skip to having that huge business without the lessons you need to learn along the way to make it successful. You can’t just get amazing abs if you’re not prepared to learn the exercises and discipline required to keep them. Even if things aren’t where you want them to be, appreciate what you have right now, because before long, you’ll look back on these days and wish you had enjoyed yourself more. Because in the future there will be a new set of problems, and maybe you’ll have wished that you only had the ones you’ve got now, then.
15). Stop wishing you were further ahead than you are. It will come soon enough – see 14 and 11.
16). No amount of products will give you glowing skin if you don’t address what is going on underneath it first – I get SO many emails a day about this. Look at your lifestyle peeps! It’s the best place to start. If you’re eating rubbish, stressed out, not exercising, not happy with your life, how on earth is a beauty product meant to give you glowing skin?!
17). Regular facials are one of the best ways to help with your acne – don’t underestimate the power of a great facialist with amazing natural products. It can work wonders. I wished I had done it more when my skin was utter poop. This is also a mental reminder to book myself in for one now.
18). Having makeup free days, even weeks are incredible for your skin – Gasp! Shock! Horror! ‘No makeup?!’ I hear you cry. Yep. Try it. Just as a little experiment, especially if your skin is rubbish at the mo. You’ll be glad you did.
19). Stop overloading your skin with so many products, keep it simple – you don’t need a 12 step process. Get rid of it. I use two skincare products for my face 90% of the time. Save yourself some money and invest it in something else instead.
20). Get your brows done professionally – enough said.
21). Exercise is the most under utilised form of therapy ever created – In the words of Nike. Just Do it.
22). Get in with the boys and lift. It’s the best place for fast results, not the treadmill. I’m currently a month into a new weights programme and I nearly have a 4 pack. Yes, I’m 35 and am working on my 6 pack. Watch this space people. It’ll be all over instagram when I’ve achieved it.
23). Find something that works for you and makes you enjoy exercise – Don’t go to the gym if you hate it, that’s pointless, because you won’t keep it up. If you love dance, then get yourself onto a class and don’t tell me you’re too old for it, I’ll call you out on that excuse. Do something you love so then when you’re in your 80’s, you’ll still be a nimble little thing who can twerk with the best of them.
24). Consistency is key – this should just be a life motto for everything and should be applied to anything you want to succeed at.
25). You can’t out train a bad diet- boring but utterly true. Put down the donuts and pick up the protein.
26). Find someone who wants to be a team with you – find someone who is your cheerleader, who wants to see you succeed and you’ve both got each other’s backs. Someone who puts you first and has the same values as you. Don’t worry if there aren’t sparks immediately, that can come with time so don’t dismiss that Bumble date if everything else is going right but you’re not sure you want to snog his face off just yet. It may just take a few more dates. Or it may not. Both ways are cool.
27). If you don’t have trust, then you don’t really have anything – if you’re checking his phone numerous times a week, this tells you everything.
28). Find someone who you wants to go on an adventure with you. Because life is exactly that – have fun, go on random dates when you’ve been together for years. And also stop being the old cliche of ‘two half’s coming together to be a whole’. Be your own ‘whole’ person and find someone that likes that about you. Don’t settle for someone because you’re scared of being alone. Loneliness is a normal feeling that we all have. Even in a relationship. But most people don’t admit it. Your feelings give you clear indications about you and your life so welcome them, listen to them and then decide if you need to act on them or not. I went slightly off topic there but ya know. I’m in my stride now of giving my worldly advice. I probs sound like a self righteous moron, but this is my digital queendom so move on if you don’t like it.
29). Communication is key – this is a learning process but if you don’t have decent communication in your relationship then you can get yourself into a pickle that can be hard to get out of. Open up, talk, even if you sound like a crazy lady and keep talking. Don’t stop. Ever.
30). Love is cyclical – and no one talks about this. In a long term relationship or marriage, you fall in love, then out of love and this is where some people then break up. You can easily fall back in love again if you remember why you both got into the relationship in the first place. It just depends if you both want to be together for the long run or not. Everyone thinks relationships are meant to be Disney like, and they just aren’t. They are hard work. You have to make the effort, even when you don’t feel like it, if you’re with the right person. Stop thinking it’s meant to be easy all the time. It’s not, because life happens. It’s OK to have tricky patches, but see 29 for how to get out of them. Repeat 29 forever.
31). Be happy by yourself. Be whole on your own and then find someone who compliments you. I mentioned this before but it’s so true. Stop thinking you’re not enough on your own. You are. If you’re meant to be with someone, they will come along eventually so enjoy your life now and fill it up with things you love. Stop waiting around for someone to come and sweep you off your feet. Sweep yourself off your own feet and be your own hero.
32). Some people are in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime – So if they go away then let them. That’s ok. They may come back or they may not. And that’s ok too. Love them regardless.
33). Friendships are like relationships. you have to put time and effort into them – You can’t expect them to be amazing if you’re not there for them. Mental note to contact my besties.
34). If you don’t like where you are then move. you’re not a tree. Repeat and repeat again. Don’t be afraid to repeat this a thousand times, until you’re happy. Your happiness is key.
35). You’re going to be working for a heck of a long time, so make sure it’s doing something you love – see 34. I quit my job after five long years of hating it without anything else to go to. It was one of the best decisions of my life.
36). Because I have two final things to say – If you want to change your career or set up your own business – have at least three months of savings as a buffer and do everything you can whilst working full time to get as far as you can. Be sensible too, ya know.
37). Family are everything – they might drive you crazy but they are everything. Love them, because before you know it, they’ll be gone. And you’ll have wished they were still around.
So there you have it. That’s all I can remember right now. Ooh, one more. Don’t be a d*ck. One of my very good friends has this as a motto with her husband and it’s so true. You never know what is happening in someone’s life, even if they have a big smile on their face, so be nice people. I’m off for a glass of champagne to celebrate turning 35 and fabulous. I hope you’ll join me, wherever you are in the world too. To us. Being utter fabulous forever.